In the beginning, before time, there was only Habumbawalozar. Habumbawalozar just sat there for almost an eternity. Then, when he got bored and hungry just sitting there, he decided to make food and he wanted it to be exciting so he made it fall from the sky. Then he created it by saying #@!*#?β♫. Before he could eat it, he breathed it in and sneezed because he had created dust. He wasn't very good at this creating stuff. What he sneezed out became the Earth and the other planets.
When Habumbawalozar saw this he was pleased and decided to make it bigger so that he could walk on it. So he said gworf!*#? and it was so. Then he was lonely so he created a pair of twins. To make life more comfortable for them he created plants and water. To serve them he created animals and all was well. Until.....
The first twin, the largest, began to boast about how strong he was. The smaller twin couldn't think of a good comeback so he hit the bigger twin. The fight escalated. They fought for 80 years. As they rolled they created mountains and plowed canyons. When Habumbawalozar came back, he was visiting the other planets, and saw what the twins had done, he punished them. They were sent to a cage in outer space. Habumbawalozar decided to try creating something again. This time he created it in his own image. He created man. He promised man that if man would serve him, Habumbawalozar would give man one gift. Man promised to serve him. So Habumbawalozar gave man a woman.
Habumbawalozar had an idea for the twins. He made them serve man and woman by telling them when to wake and when to sleep. He made the larger one the sun and the smaller one the moon. However, man and woman did not always obey them though. Because they disobeyed Habumbawalozar, he became angry. He got so angry that he ripped the hair off of the sun and threw it. The hairs became the meteors. To punish man and woman Habumbawalozar gave them an appendix that would rupture if they disobeyed him enough.
Sun was jealous of Habumbawalozar that he could create man and woman. He was also angry at Habumbawalozar for pulling his hair off. So, Sun tried to make an equal of man and woman. Sun wanted them to be more agile and stronger. Sun created apes. Unfortunately for Sun, when he made apes stronger he forgot to make them intellectually equal to man and woman.
Moon was also jealous. Moon wanted to rule the seas. He created marine life. He gave it protectors like sharks, and food like shrimp. He also gave it beauty like anemones and jellyfish. He even controls the tide.
Eventually, a thought came into man's head," Why should you listen to Habumbawalozar."
Man asked," who are you."
The thought replied," I am devil."
Man asked," Where did you come from."
Devil replied," I came from you."
Devil continued to talk to man, and almost convinced him, when Habumbawalozar heard their conversation, he kicked Devil out and sent him to the underworld, a cavern deep in the Earth full of torture and poison. Habumbawalozar told man never to listen to Devil, and warned man that Devil would take over some of man's offspring. He also told man that he would know that the end of time would be near once Devil broke out of the cavern and caused destruction and sorrow to all things. Man was warned and had many offspring with woman.
Habumbawalozar
In the beginning, before time, there was only Habumbawalozar. Habumbawalozar just sat there for almost an eternity. Then, when he got bored and hungry just sitting there, he decided to make food and he wanted it to be exciting so he made it fall from the sky. Then he created it by saying #@!*#?β♫. Before he could eat it, he breathed it in and sneezed because he had created dust. He wasn't very good at this creating stuff. What he sneezed out became the Earth and the other planets.
When Habumbawalozar saw this he was pleased and decided to make it bigger so that he could walk on it. So he said gworf!*#? and it was so. Then he was lonely so he created a pair of twins. To make life more comfortable for them he created plants and water. To serve them he created animals and all was well. Until.....
The first twin, the largest, began to boast about how strong he was. The smaller twin couldn't think of a good comeback so he hit the bigger twin. The fight escalated. They fought for 80 years. As they rolled they created mountains and plowed canyons. When Habumbawalozar came back, he was visiting the other planets, and saw what the twins had done, he punished them. They were sent to a cage in outer space. Habumbawalozar decided to try creating something again. This time he created it in his own image. He created man. He promised man that if man would serve him, Habumbawalozar would give man one gift. Man promised to serve him. So Habumbawalozar gave man a woman.
Habumbawalozar had an idea for the twins. He made them serve man and woman by telling them when to wake and when to sleep. He made the larger one the sun and the smaller one the moon. However, man and woman did not always obey them though. Because they disobeyed Habumbawalozar, he became angry. He got so angry that he ripped the hair off of the sun and threw it. The hairs became the meteors. To punish man and woman Habumbawalozar gave them an appendix that would rupture if they disobeyed him enough.
Sun was jealous of Habumbawalozar that he could create man and woman. He was also angry at Habumbawalozar for pulling his hair off. So, Sun tried to make an equal of man and woman. Sun wanted them to be more agile and stronger. Sun created apes. Unfortunately for Sun, when he made apes stronger he forgot to make them intellectually equal to man and woman.
Moon was also jealous. Moon wanted to rule the seas. He created marine life. He gave it protectors like sharks, and food like shrimp. He also gave it beauty like anemones and jellyfish. He even controls the tide.
Eventually, a thought came into man's head," Why should you listen to Habumbawalozar."
Man asked," who are you."
The thought replied," I am devil."
Man asked," Where did you come from."
Devil replied," I came from you."
Devil continued to talk to man, and almost convinced him, when Habumbawalozar heard their conversation, he kicked Devil out and sent him to the underworld, a cavern deep in the Earth full of torture and poison. Habumbawalozar told man never to listen to Devil, and warned man that Devil would take over some of man's offspring. He also told man that he would know that the end of time would be near once Devil broke out of the cavern and caused destruction and sorrow to all things. Man was warned and had many offspring with woman.